AJ [Lee] Brooks was the recent guest of the Sam Roberts Wrestling Podcast to promote her new book, ‘Crazy is My Superpower’ out in stores now. You can watch the entire interview in the video above. Below are some of the highlights of the podcast:
On How Long the Book Took to Get Her Book Out:
I just retired two years ago which was when we started the book, but I’ve wrestled for over a decade. The book took about a year to get the actual book out. I didn’t hire a Ghostwriter or Co-Writer because I thought the process was going to be easy and then two days into it I was just crying into my hair because it was the hardest thing I’ve done in my life.
On Worrying About Being Too Open In Her Book:
It was almost the opposite. I would send in these drafts and feel ashamed that I wasn’t more open because the book is supposed to be this positive side to mental illness and what you can take out of that and I was being somewhat ashamed of it. So I kept going through these drafts and really put out the darkest moments in my life, my biggest mistakes to get the courage to just do it.
On Bipolar Running In Her Family:
It runs in my family, bipolar disorder does, depression does. My brother was a Soldier, he has PTSD, it’s something we are susceptible to and I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 19-20.
On Feeling Bipolar as a Kid:
I was telling someone this the other day, I don’t remember a time when I didn’t feel bipolar, where I didn’t feel like something was a little bit off. I was the weird kid who would drown her Barbie doll and would solve all her problems with violence and I didn’t understand why I just thought that was normal. Violence was normalized and I would hit kids in school all the time and they would kind of be afraid of the tiny little bomb ready to go off and so I think finding wrestling and using violence as an art form was a way to kind of release that and channel all that type of energy.
On Her Family Not Knowing About Their Condition:
There was definitely alcohol and drug abuse in the family, which I believe is a form of how everyone dealt with their bouts of depression. In my household, mental illness was something we accepted or acknowledged that it was real. My mother went undiagnosed for most of her life after she had a breakdown and there was no way to ignore it anymore. For me, the process of writing the book and relive all these traumatic memories was for me to forgive all that stuff and realize everyone was dealing with their problems their own way and to tell people you have to catch this stuff early and treat it and respect its power so it doesn’t take over your life and you don’t make these kinds of decisions.
On CM Punk Fighting in UFC:
So many mixed emotions all at once. I am someone who believes in going for whatever your dream is. I was a homeless kid in New Jersey and then I ended up being a multiple-time champion on TV, which people would have laughed at me if I said that it was my dream so for him to want to do something so bold, I supported him 100%, but you know, I really like his face so I was just so proud of him for doing it. It was the weirdest thing with the months leading up to the match that there is somebody in this world whose only thought was hurting your husband, which was their game plan for months. That is their job and I respect the sport so much, they do a wonderful job. I went to the fight, I didn’t want to go, I sat ringside and I sat with one of my sisters, I had ended up getting out there.
On CM Punk After His Fight with Mickey Gall:
I don’t think it hurt to earn a million dollars for one night, he was pretty psyched about that. He came backstage with the biggest smile on his face and was completely sweaty, which I threw myself on him, I just told him how proud I am of him. His speech afterward was so moving and I try not to get so emotional around people.
On CM Punk Wanting to Fight Again:
He wants to fight again, and I am never going to be the person to stop someone from pursuing their dreams so I definitely support it, I just want his face to stay the same way it is now.
On Enjoying the Calmness of Home-Life:
I feel like there is a give and take. One thing about writing a book, I have to wait a year or two before publication whereas wrestling you get that instant gratification, which is a different kind of ride to go on. There is something so wonderful about being calm and going to your own bed at night rather than having to force yourself up because you are so hurt. There is a peace that neither of us knew because of our hectic work-life and lack of home-life, where you are moving 100 miles per hour so to finally have that place to call home it just feels different and we are getting used to it.
On Her Dream of Being a Professional Wrestler:
I talk about that in the book, there is something gratifying about chasing something and going after it. It’s kind of like the thing where your dog chases after a squirrel, you wonder what is he going to do once he captures it? So, for me there was so many moments in my life was just about getting signed, getting a job where I can support my family, and once that happened I realized that I had to set new goals and I literally wrote a list of things I needed to accomplish in wrestling and all these things needed to happen or I will never leave, which I then did within three years, sometimes in a year, and then you are left struggling in a way and you want to find something to be angry about because when you feel content it is a strange feeling so you have to say okay, what is the next goal to accomplish while I am still young and healthy to have opportunities. For me, I lived this life of hardships, which had to of been for a reason to share my story and that was when this happened to become real.
On Pursuing Her Dream of Writing:
I went to NYU for a solid six months. I was studying Film & Television because I wanted to write Screenplays. My whole life I was always writing stories, I loved Comic Books and Video Games, so writing about that realm of fantasy was my escape from reality so it was always my strength and safeplace, so I was studying that at school and got kicked out because I couldn’t really afford it, I was hopeful but was very poor. I had straight A’s my first Semester so I was a good student. So writing has always been my passion and it has always been my goal to get back to that thing of my strength and comfort, which I wasn’t sure I could do and I did it on my own with this book, so I feel like I have become an author through this and I want to keep writing. I am currently working on my second book which is a follow-up and it keeps going through fitness and how you can create your own therapy and stress, which will have ridiculous stories like this.
