Thanks to Mark Mercer for the following:
Howard came back from break and said that Chyna Doll is late because no one sent a car over to pick her up. He has no time to be messing around today so he doesn’t know what to do. He had a couple of tapes to play so he did that instead. Howard had tape of Kathie Lee Gifford on ”The View” talking about her kid but Gary came in and told Howard that Chyna Doll had just shown up. He was shaking his head as if something weird was going on.
Howard had Chyna Doll (Joanie Laurer) come in and said that it looked like she’d lost a lot of weight or something. She also had her dog with her in the studio so she had to hand it off to Robin who offered to hold it. Chyna Doll’s boob was also popping out according to Howard. She asked Howard if she was going to let her stay on the show for a while today because she flew all the way out there to visit him. Howard told Chyna Doll that he had to leave on time today so he couldn’t do a very long interview. He had something to do with his daughter today.
Chyna Doll was wearing glitter on her face for some reason and she had a weird explanation for that which didn’t make all that much sense. Howard went on to ask Chyna Doll about her weight loss. He said that she looks much more feminine today than she did last time he saw her. He then brought up ”The Surreal Life” and how good she is on that show. Chyna Doll was slurring her words and trying to tell a story about ”Melissa Cunningham” but no one had a clue about who she was talking about. Chyna was asking Howard if he ever rubbed that woman’s feet for some reason. Howard didn’t think that he had but he wasn’t sure. Howard said that it would appear that Chyna Doll is drinking a lot on ”The Surreal Life” and wondered if she’s doing that all the time now. Chyna Doll said that she likes to party and she doesn’t want to be the designated driver. Chyna Doll told Howard that if he had a line of coke right there in front of her, she’d do it. She doesn’t do that normally though.
Howard asked Chyna Doll if she’s depressed these days and if that’s why she’s drinking so much. Chyna Doll said that she just recently spent 6 days in prison and that wasn’t cool. She allegedly beat up her boyfriend so that’s why she ended up there. Howard brought up the home sex movie that Chyna Doll is in. He told her that she had six pimples on her ass in the movie but she thinks that she’s got a great ass. She went on to explain how her relationship with her boyfriend went bad. She claims that he beat the crap out of her a couple of years ago but she still has the same problems. Her boob fell out of her dress as she was telling the story. Howard told her to just take the dress off and sit there without it. Chyna Doll asked Howard to send the dress to a certain person in the military and she’d take the dress off. Howard promised he’d do that so Chyna Doll took off her dress. She said she was really embarrassed so Howard told her to put it back on.
Howard took a call from Chyna Doll’s ex-boyfriend Sean Waltman. Chyna Doll wouldn’t let the guy talk, she just kept interrupting him. Sean told Chyna to just come back to the real world. Chyna Doll claims that he made a deal to put that porn tape out behind her back. She said that she was disgusted with herself after seeing it. Chyna Doll also went off on Vince McMahon calling him ”Vince McDick” and saying that he owes her some royalties and stuff. Chyna Doll also said that she will never go back to Sean. The two of them went back and forth for a couple of minutes. Sean was saying that he never physically abused her. He said that just weeks before doing ”The Surreal Life” she broke his nose after he told her about a woman he’d slept with that some point in his life. The delay button was hit a bunch of times as each of them were telling their sides of the story. Howard let them argue with each other for a couple of minutes. Howard let Sean go after a few minutes so he could stop the arguing. Chyna Doll told Sean to stay away from her from now on.
Howard let a few phone callers ask Chyna Doll some questions. Chyna said that the porn tape didn’t generate any money for her. She was also denying the claims that Sean made about her blowing pot smoke in his kid’s face. Howard wanted Chyna Doll to sing for them today so he had her brother Tobey come in with his guitar. Chyna wanted to sit next to him but Howard figured that Tobey might be uncomfortable sitting next to her while she’s naked. Chyna was rambling on and on but Howard just wanted her to sit down and sing for them. She calmed down a little bit and her brother prepared to play guitar while she sang. Howard took a couple of phone calls while they prepared. One caller asked Chyna if she had been ”hitting the pipe” this morning. Chyna Doll said she didn’t know what that was.
Tobey and Chyna performed a version of ”Hey Joe” with different lyrics about Howard and the guys. Howard had enough after a minute or so. He told Chyna Doll that she should tour with Courtney Love. Chyna said that Courtney is unstable right now… Howard said ”Let’s just leave it at that…” and started to wrap up the interview. Chyna Doll told Howard that she was really into Marcus Shankenberg when she did ”The Surreal Life” but she didn’t think she was ready for a relationship. Howard wrapped up with Chyna Doll and Tobey a short time later. Chyna was still naked so she was wondering where he clothes were as they were going to break.
