Mojo Madden’s Opening Segment Spectacular!

seth rollinsSeth Rollins doesn’t like Sting. Sting destroyed Rollins’ statue. I don’t blame Rollins for not liking Sting.

Triple H’s music hits. “Oh, no, not them again!”

Mom and Dad head to the ring, practically genuflecting on the “Connor’s Cure” logo. They immediately revert to being heels. Why, yes, it is confusing.

If Steph wore thick, black glasses, she’d look like Amy Farrah Fowler. She ticks off the names of several wrestlers. Zero response. I guess the mark these WWE superstars are leaving isn’t all that indelible. Or maybe it’s just a stain.

Triple H: “Heights never before reached.” Right. Keep telling yourself that.

It’s one thing for The Authority to back Rollins. But HHH and Steph remind me of Little League parents who sponsor the team, then force the coach to let their kid pitch and bat cleanup. Seth Rollins is good. He doesn’t need that. But, because he gets it, his perception is dipping in the fans’ eyes.

PPV PLUG! AND HERE’S WHAT GONNA HAPPEN TONIGHT, IN THIS VERY RING!

If issues were presented in a cohesive, episodic and consistent manner, there wouldn’t be the need for constant prefaces and resets. You could open cold occasionally – which would be a nice change – and viewers would understand what was going on.

“OK, but this gets Mom and Dad on TV.” Well, you got me there. To be fair, Raw only has a dozen people working on the creative element.

Mrs. John Cena has been Divas champion for a record-tying 295 days. How much intercourse has that period spanned? Hey, just curious.

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