The Rock vs. John Cena: Cena should win the WWE title clean with the Attitude Adjustment, and I don’t see WWE straying far from that. It’s Cena’s turn to win. That type of booking sucks, but that’s WWE current scripting philosophy. The Rock will be absent while he shoots “Hercules,” and WWE won’t put the belt in mothballs. Cena has lately teased turning heel, but that’s not happening yet. Too many T-shirts to sell. New York: “HEY, CENA, YOU SUCK!”
The Undertaker vs. C.M. Punk: Punk is reportedly unhappy about working with ‘Taker. Punk allegedly feels it will be hard to have a good match with an old man who hasn’t wrestled in a year. Punk also thinks he should be involved in the main-event program. (A three-way with Rock and Cena, perhaps?) Punk’s dissatisfaction, and the likelihood that he’ll be taking time off, makes ‘Taker dominating this bout more possible. But, no matter what, ‘Taker wins clean. A vast majority of fans don’t want to see ‘Taker’s streak end. It’s marketable for as long as Mark Calaway wants to dust off the ring gear once a year. Beating ‘Taker would not further elevate Punk. It would put him in a negative light that has nothing to do with heel heat. Marks would remember Punk as the guy who F’d up something they liked and were very invested in.
Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar: Lesnar should win as the beginning of the set-up for Brock vs. Rock at WM 30. Triple H would have to “retire,” but when was the last time that kept anybody from wrestling? Instead, Triple H wins because the WWE bad-ass has to beat the UFC bad-ass by way of proving product superiority. Stupid, right? But that’s exactly what Vince McMahon is thinking. Brock just wants paid and doesn’t care about winning, so doing the wrong thing is that much easier. HBK gets his revenge by superkicking Lesnar into a pedigree for the finish. Beating a heel via a babyface double-team is WWE’s insane idea of keeping the heel “strong.” Chyna Jr. will get involved by slapping around Paul Heyman – a thrill for both, I’m sure.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger: Swagger should win, then ADR chases him for the world title. That’s ADR’s last hope at being a babyface. So far he sucks at it. If ADR retains, expect Swagger and Colter to beat him down after, followed by Dolph Ziggler cashing in the MITB briefcase. Ziggler gets elevated, and ADR and Swagger continue their feud because “it’s personal.” If Ziggler and Big E Langston win the tag titles, Ziggler won’t use MITB (or he’ll fail in the attempt). Ricardo Rodriguez gets some heat back, probably at Zeb Colter’s expense.
Fandango vs. Chris Jericho: In some ways, this is the night’s most intriguing match: A green guy makes his in-ring WWE debut AT FRIGGIN’ WRESTLEMANIA. Jericho has done a great job building this feud and making Fandango seem lethal and legitimate. Jericho’s also good at carrying lesser workers, which Fandango surely is, at least right now. Fandango goes to the ring in front of 90,000 knowing his career will be made or broken right then and there. THAT’S PRESSURE. Fandango goes over, and pretty strong, too. Gee, a veteran is willingly being used to build a younger talent. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen that.
The rest of the card doesn’t much matter. I’m curious to see how strong Ryback goes over Mark Henry. That match has strong potential to be a real stinker. WWE has to come up with a way to really advance The Shield, and doing it on the company’s biggest stage is a good idea. Dean Ambrose is the man. Does WWE agree?
Yes, this a predictable WrestleMania. So what? ‘Mania is about star power and giving the people what they want. Surprise is overrated. WCW surprised itself out of business.
I was amused to hear that Mick Foley got knocked off the WWE Hall of Fame TV show so Chyna Jr.’s induction of Trish Stratus could air. Giving a woman that exposure is good PR, and Stratus deserves it. If a McMahon speaks, it gets on TV. And it validates that Foley has damaged and devalued his character over the last decade of appearing as nice-guy Mick. People don’t remember the volatility and danger of Cactus Jack and Mankind. Those were Hall-of-Fame performers. Nice-guy Mick? Not so much.
Follow Mark Madden on Twitter: @MarkMaddenX
Nick was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan, and lived there until the age of 18, when he decided to pack his flack jacket and move to New York City.
