Well, perhaps we should have seen this one coming. We knew a story like this was in the works. But still, that doesn’t mean it has to leave a good taste in the mouths of fans. As for me, well – let’s get into the whole deal.
THE HEADLINERS:
Tonight’s Smackdown started with Vickie Guerrero and Edge in the GM’s office, her turned in feigned disgust and Edge sitting on the couch like a puppy who knows he’s about to get scolded.
Vickie tore into the Rated R Superstar, telling him she couldn’t believe that he ruined such a great match (Hell in a Cell between Batista and Undertaker). He had ruined Taker’s “last chance” at the title and, as punishment, she was putting him in a match next week against Batista for the World Heavyweight Championship.
Edge, at first appearing bewildered, asked her to clarify that his punishment was going to be becoming the No. 1 contender and that Taker was taking a back seat to him. Then, he said he wanted to thank Vickie because he couldn’t have pulled “it” off without her.
Vickie told him he was welcome, and he could thank her properly later. Suddenly, their hands were all over each other and they locked into a passionate kiss.
Kayfabe or not, did anyone else picture Eddie rolling in his grave?
Later in the show, Batista had been summoned to Vickie’s office where she was prepared to tell him the news about his match next week. Batista said he already knew, and wondered why. He said Edge doesn’t deserve the match and calls him “slime,” while maintaining that if anyone deserves another shot at the belt, it’s the Undertaker.
Vickie rebuts with “two good reasons” why. First, “he deserves it,” and second – “I love him.”
She then ordered Batista to get out, which he does with a disgusted smirk on his face.
The episode ended with the return of The Cutting Edge, with mega-pyro going off as Edge was introduced. He then walked arm-in-arm with Vickie to the ring.
“Admit it, it’s great to see me again isn’t it?” said Edge to huge boos from the crowd. (We know better, though. It’s great to have this heel back in action.) He thanked Vickie, referring to her as “the love of my life,” and let it be known that what we were seeing was the culmination of four months of careful planning – with the goal being next week when he defeats Batista to reclaim the World Heavyweight Championship.
With that, he introduced the champ, Batista, whose first words upon hitting the ring were to tell Edge to shut up. “I don’t know what the hell is going on between you two, but it makes me sick,” said the Animal. He told Edge he didn’t deserve the match next week, but he did deserve every ounce of the ass whipping the champ was going to give Edge next week.
With that, Batista shoved Edge down and left the ring. But as he departed, it seemed odd that we still had at least three minutes left in the show. Oh, wait –
*gong*
The lights went out and when they returned, Undertaker stood in the ring. Being the always-brave competitor that he is, Edge did what he does best – he ran like a “scalded dog.” Unfortunately for the general manager, that left her in the ring with an angry Dead Man, who promptly grabbed her by the throat indicating she would soon feel his wrath through a choke slam.
Edge tried begging Taker off from a safe distance, but in the end only turned in frustration as Taker finally picked Vickie up and dished out a Tombstone pile driver.
Me thinks Edge has more than Batista to worry about next week. And, if they sell it well, I can imagine Vickie not being around next week to save the Rated R Superstar from what’s coming.
My Take:
Well, there were rumors of a story such as this some time ago. While the matching up of Edge and Vickie really doesn’t do anything for me personally, it does at least introduce some interesting possibilities for storylines.
Watch for Edge to string her along like his own personal puppet, never fully giving her what she wants and using her to reach his goals. When he does, it won’t be long before he drops her like a bad habit – then we’ll see what happens with a woman’s scorn.
THE DOWNSIDERS:
First on my list is the match between the tag champs, Miz and Morrison, taking on The Major Brothers. The “reality show duo” has yet to impress me, and I still don’t think these two deserve to have gold around their waists. Not to mention the fact that they actually won the match clean.
The one positive in this whole thing? WWE actually let the Majors cut a promo about their match. Are we actually going to have wrestlers talk about their adversaries again? What a novel concept.
Secondly – I had to see Big Daddy V again. At least Kane won his match against the colossus of cellulite and got to dish out a chair shot in the process.
And sorry ladies, as much as I enjoy seeing your beautiful faces (and other attributes), Victoria vs. Torrie Wilson just didn’t seem on tonight.
THE HIGH-FLIERS:
I’m actually torn on this one, but tonight’s High-fliers distinction has to go to MVP and Rey Mysterio – with a little JBL mixed in.
First, we had a ceremony at which JBL was presenting – supposedly on behalf of the United Nations – the first-ever United States Champion ring to MVP, which according to JBL bore 101 karats worth of diamonds.
The pair did a decent promo in the ring, talking up how great MVP was and how one day he’ll be a world champion. They also discussed MVP’s dropping of “dead weight” in Matt Hardy and how JBL’s similar actions in the past led him down a path toward the WWE Championship.
Then, Rey Mysterio appeared. Not only did he snag the microphone from MVP, but he yelled, “Look at me when I’m talking to you, rookie!” He told MVP he was nothing but a punk and that the reason he’d been ducking Matt Hardy was he was scared.
MVP clocked Rey hard, but Mysterio recovered quickly and dealt out some blows of his own. He set MVP up for the 619, but the U.S. Champ rolled out of the ring.
Fast forward a bit and we have ourselves a match.
Rey got the upper hand first, locking MVP up in some leg scissors then getting a few arm-drag takedowns to frustrate the champ. MVP got Rey into a corner where he dished out some blows, but Mysterio fought back with kicks and a huricanrana. Rey then ducked a clothesline and hit a cross body for a pin attempt that was quickly followed by another roll-up for a two-count. Following another attempt at a pin by Rey, MVP cleared out of the ring in anger, kicking the steel steps.
Back from the break and MVP is elevating Mysterio and planting him face-first into the ring. Porter then hit a hard kick to the head for a near fall. After a knee to the head and another two-count, MVP slapped Rey’s head in disrespect. He then shoved Mysterio into the corner and dished out several blows to the 619 native.
Rey tried a couple of times to mount some offense, but MVP finally hit a huge boot to the head for a near fall, leaving the champ shocked that Mysterio still had fight left in him. Moments later, MVP picked up Mysterio off an Irish whip only to find himself the victim of a DDT.
As both competitors rose, Rey was first on the attack with forearms and hamstring kicks. A kick to the head dropped MVP, and Rey hit a drop kick on the sitting champ for a near fall. MVP recovered and hit what was described as a “tilt-a-whirl into an arm bar faceplant,” but Rey kicked out of the pin attempt again.
MVP then set Rey up for the Playmaker, but Mysterio reversed the move and MVP found himself on the second rope for, you guessed it, the 619. MVP had enough in him to drop away from a West Coast Pop, but found himself getting a second 619.
But, just when you think it’s over, Mysterio was caught by MVP when attempting another West Coast Pop. MVP dropped him to the mat and held the ropes as the referee hit the three count.
Hmm. Can we say Armageddon? Chances are you haven’t seen the last of these two.
THE NUTSHELLERS:
– Finlay was backstage with VKM again, where Vince does more of his Finlay impersonation. He told Finlay that he knew he was concerned about Hornswoggle, but that he had a surprise for him tonight regarding Hornie’s match against Mark Henry. It was now a handicap match, with Finlay as Hornswoggle’s partner. Later, as Finlay and Hornswoggle are walking out to their match, the little guy stopped Finlay long enough to say “Thank you.”
Then, in a surprisingly entertaining match, the Irishmen managed to get the win after Finlay used his favorite toy across Henry’s skull. The pair danced in the ring and exchanged Hi-5’s after the victory. I think it’s safe to say that Finlay is turning face for Hornswoggle’s sake.
The surprises weren’t done, however, as Khali came out to the ring. Finlay was ready for him, weapon in hand, but he wasn’t ready for a recovered Henry to club him from behind. Khali then picked Finlay up by the head and slammed him to the mat.
Backstage, Vince is watching. “Now that – that was a surprise,” he commented.
– Noble flirted unsuccessfully with Michelle McCool backstage, earning himself a hard slap across the face. But it appears that being the sacrificial lamb to giants in the ring lately paid off as he picked up the win over Chuck Palumbo in an upset.
– Jesse and Festus did a promo for John Cena’s DVD “My Life,” with Festus dressed up like Cena. Despite his usual staring off into space with his tongue hanging out, Festus slowly raised his hand toward the end, with Jesse grabbing hold and helping him move it back and forth for the “You can’t see me!” move.
– Sean O’Mac, yours truly, failed to appear on tonight’s episode. Maybe they’ll start my viral promo soon.
Don’t like my take? Let’s hear yours! Send me your e-mails to wzseanomac@yahoo.com … the best and worst of the bunch may be featured in the weekly editions of Sean Oâ<80><99>Macâ<80><99>s Pullinâ<80><99> No Punches (found in the editorial section). Remember, short ones are good, long ones may be cut, and keep the name of the column in mind when you come looking for answers!
