Rankings (That don’t really matter)
1.) Triple H and The Undertaker, The Last of the Icons- With not one word spoken between them, the two returning stars answered the question “Who will ‘Taker face at Wrestlemania?” The booking is out of left field and ignores some previous established storylines (what is this, Indy wrestling?), but, trust me, you won’t care on April 2nd. You’ll just grab another piece of pizza, sip your CM Punk Diet Soda, and enjoy the show.
2.) Michael Cole, Better than Gordon Solie- Remember when the bland and benign Michael Cole started talking out of turn, editorializing, and really emphasizing how annoying he was? Remember when we all thought it was odd, weird, and another WWE misstep? Well, now Michael Cole is one of the top heels and when Lawler destroys him in the ring it will be one of the biggest pops of the year. That’s planning, TNA. Long term planning.
3.) Mark Henry, Sexual Chocolate- He just beat a “two-time world champ and King of the Ring” relatively clean on TV. That, uh, means… that means he has to be ranked higher than Sheamus. Right?
4.) Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater of The Corre, Spell check rebels- Hey, they’re now three time tag champs! They’re as good as Demolition.
5.) Trish Stratus, Yoga Instructor- This is still the PG era, right? Damn. OK. Well, I’m still gonna need a few minutes.
(Writer’s Note: I really, really, really tried to not make this week’s rankings an all WWE list. I tried. I watched Impact! from start to finish looking for someone to rank. But, that was the problem… I watched Impact! from start to finish. Shiver.)
The “You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone” R.O.H. TV award of the week:
While the overall episode on 2-21-11 was a tad dull, mostly because Devon Storm apparently showed up to the arena with his gear and was allowed to work, you had to like the Top 5 Ring of Honor moments that played throughout the show, particularly the CM Punk farewell flashback. It reminded you of some of the big names that cut their teeth and became who they are while wrestling for ROH. TV deal or not, this is a promotion that will always be a stepping stone for future greatness. You can’t change that… you just have to embrace it and enjoy the talent while you have it.
The “Unsolicited TNA advice” of the week:
New segment. Just about every conversation I have with any one about TNA involves some one, at some point saying, “Well, here’s what TNA should do…” Doesn’t matter if it is a worker, promoter, fan, or Dixie Carter. Someone always has an idea. So, why not start putting those ideas and pieces of advice… no matter how big or small… in print.
First up: Steal Ted DiBiase Jr. The Fortunate Son appears to be topping out as dark match cannon fodder, but there has to be something left in the tank. Things started out so, so well. Would putting the Million Dollar Son on top of TNA drastically change things immediately? No. Would being TNA champ seem a bit like slumming it for Ted. Yes. At first. But if you could take a floundering talent, this one with well-known lineage, and help him find his inner voice and true persona while, say, battling AJ Styles in a high profile feud, it could help turn around the image of TNA as a place for legends to die and youth to melt. Then, perhaps, one day the promotion would seem like a viable option to top talent.
I mean this worked with Mr. Anderson, right?
CONTINUE ON PAGE 3 FOR KEN NAPZOK’S "FAST COUNT">>>
