If this wasn’t enough, the Chavo/Santino segment setup a Vickie….Santina segment. Ugh. Here’s the deal: Santino is very talented, when used correctly and sparingly he is more often than not comedic gold. But this is not a sketch comedy show it’s a pro wrestling show, and too much Santino shtick is overkill after a while. The entire Santina gimmick has overstayed its welcome in my opinion and creative should follow the "3 ravioli" rule with Santino: when you order ravioli at a restaurant more often than not they give you three. You like them and you wish you had more. They don’t give you more, so you want to order them the next time.
Does anyone see a real storyline future for talent like Chavo, The Brian Kendrick, The Colons, Goldust, Hornswoggle or other mid card talents that Raw acquired during the draft? If not, then you begin to understand the problem Raw is going to have holding the attention of the audience as more often than not 85% of the talent shown every week will never see the lights of a PPV.
THE WRESTLING:
-Kelly Kelly, The Bella Twins, Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall and Mickie James: We reported yesterday that Vince McMahon has apparently "soured" on the Women’s Division as he is not pleased with the in-ring ability a majority of the Divas possess. Or do not possess as it is. Well then I guess I have to ask you Vince, how do you think positioning Kelly Kelly as the number one contender to an already weak Diva’s Champion in Maryse going to help the situation? As a match, the battle royal was over before it began, and left me wondering what the real female wrestlers will be doing when Extreme Rules rolls around. 3 Stars.
-Santino Marella vs. Chavo Guerrero: You can’t follow a lackluster battle royal with a comedy match. Santino’s hilarious on the mic, so why overkill his gimmick by having him act like a jackass in the ring? Did he forget that he’s a trained wrestler that once defeated Umaga for the IC Title? If not, then why does he act surprised when he successfully hits an elbow? Senseless, and the match itself was filler. 3.5 Stars.
-Carlito & Primo Colon (c) vs. Goldust & The Brian Kendrickk: Here’s a match that had potential but failed to tell any kind of a technical wrestling story. The match was centered around the idea that Kendrick can’t find a suitable tag team partner, but instead of subtly playing that out during the confines of an exciting wrestling match, creative again decided to feed us filler by centering around the team of Goldust and Hornswoggle, otherwise known as No One Cares and No One Cares, Jr. 4 Stars.
-United States Title Match: MVP vs. Matt Hardy: This was the only technically sound match of the night, but considering we have seen far better bouts between these two in the past, something just didn’t seem to click. Granted Matt’s hand is legitimately hurt, but this was a match WWE would have been better suited to sign when Hardy was physically at 100%. The real problem here was the finish. Where does Matt go now? Of course he’ll most likely wrestle Jeff at Extreme Rules, but the clean pin by MVP took Hardy out of the US Title picture and left no open end for the program in the future. 6.5 Stars.
–Santina vs Vickie Guerrero: I won’t repeat myself too much here, but again, why did we need to see two separate in-ring comedy wrestling matches in one show? It set nothing up containing any value, and provided nothing by way of a good wrestling match. 1 Star.
-3 on 2 Handicap Match: Legacy vs John Cena and Batista: This was a surprisingly fun match, which is a good thing considering it was mainly in place to anticipate the appearance of Flair. The end saw some fast-paced back and forth action that at least stirred the audience more than its in-ring predecessors. 5 Stars.
Overall, this was a very lackluster edition of Monday Night Raw. Nothing popped in or out of the ring, and the only thing the show really produced was the announcement that the same two matches we just saw headline Judgment Day will now headline Extreme Rules. Out of a possible 9 stars, I give last night’s Raw broadcast 4 Stars.
-Nick’s Notes:
-Michael Cole actually said that Judgment Day was controversial and at times, "miraculous." Was he watching the PPV or "The Ten Commandments?"
-Did anyone catch the commercial for the new "Punch-Out" game coming out for the Wii? It was a live-action version of Little Mac talking about losing key bouts to King Hippo back in the late 80’s. Hysterical. If you TiVo’d Raw, it’s worth going back and watching.
-I swear Ric Flair’s shirts have sweat glands.
-Isn’t it odd that a PG rated show such as Raw chose a song like "So Hot" by Kid Rock to be played during their shows? He actually says "I want to fuck you like I’m never gonna see you again" and "I want to get you stoned" in the chorus. Oh well, maybe WWE feels it’s OK since the lyrics are so bitingly brilliant.
Thanks for reading and as always you can send any and all feedback to VOWNick@gmail.com
Nick was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan, and lived there until the age of 18, when he decided to pack his flack jacket and move to New York City.
