The Biz: Hell In A Cell Thoughts (as they happen!)

WHAT THE HELL!? John Cena VS Randy Orton for the WWE Championship is next. I don’t understand what’s happening. I mean, it’s cool for Legacy, but really? This PPV is weird.

Ok so now Orton is coming out first. They’re not even following a pattern in terms of entrances. Am I being too picky?

Jerry Lawler said that Orton has won inside the Hell in a Cell before. Didn’t The Undertaker win?

Yeah, the crowd doesn’t like John Cena either. Maybe WWE was right in putting DX on last.

Ok I’m going to vent. What the hell do people have against Cena? He’s just as good as Stone Cold or Hulk Hogan or whoever else. It’s just the “cool” thing to boo Cena and it annoys me.

On the other hand, it also annoys me when Michael Cole says that “nobody illicit the range of emotion from the WWE Universe like Cena does.” Why can’t he just say people don’t like him?

Historically speaking, this is the first Cell match in WWE history that doesn’t feature either HHH or The Undertaker.

Michael Cole said that this Cell is different in the past because it’s reinforced. Pretty much he’s saying that no high spots will occur out of the Cell. Douche Bag.

After a few somewhat boring moments, Cena hit the FU. But Randy Orton kicked out, thank God. If Cena won after that, this match, and PPV, would be a failure. It’s a freaking HELL IN A CELL MATCH! DO SOMETHING!!!

Did Orton shave his head so he could be bald like Lex Luthor to oppose Cena’s Superman?

Orton is using a steel chair in a Cell match. Why even have the Cell? Just make it a no-DQ match. That’s how much they’ve used the Cell.

So the ref got knocked out, and now Cena has Orton in the STF. Think he’ll tap? I do.

Yup, he did.

Cena, typically, checked on the ref, only to be RKO’d by Orton. Luckily, Cena kicked out. There’s still hope for this match.

Here’s some advice: If you’re ever at a live event, and you chant for Randy Orton, enunciate the ‘T’ in OrTon. Otherwise you sound like a Latin girl.

So Cena is tied up in the ropes. This is the second time in two months that Cena has been in an almost crucifix-like position. Is WWE making Cena out to be the Jesus Christ of World Wrestling Entertainment? At least their initials are the same. If Orton uses a crown of thorns for a foreign object, I’m totally cheering for him to win.

Oh my God!!! That was the worst punt ever. I literally thought Cena moved out of the way as a defense. Orton wins. This match sucked. At least the Cena critics will be happy that Orton is the champion.

Maybe they’ll do an injury angle with Cena and he’ll take a few weeks off since the punt is usually portrayed as being devastating.

Oh. Nope. Cena’s up and walkin’ around.