THE BIG AND BLACK ATTACK
I’ve always liked Awesome Kong as a performer. She’s DIFFERENT.
Every other diva/knockout is so cookie-cutter. Sure, some have better bolt-ons, some have better posteriors, and they’re all some degree of attractive. Some can work, most can’t. The majority lack personality. In short, WWE and TNA are saturated with a bunch of girls you mostly can’t tell apart.
You can do so much more with an ugly fat girl than you can with a Barbie doll. You can do so much more with Kong than you can with, say, Kelly Kelly.
By the way, no apologies for calling Kong ugly and fat. Takes one to know one. And she wouldn’t have her new job with WWE if she wasn’t big and grotesque.
Ugly fat girl squashes Barbie dolls: MAJOR HEAT. Implied lesbian interest in Barbie dolls: MAJOR HEAT, kinda hot. One Barbie doll gets MAJOR PUSH by finally beating ugly fat girl. Ugly fat girl falls in love with, then stalks twinky-looking boy toy: MAJOR LAUGHS. Ugly fat girl wrestles, then beats twinky-looking boy toy: LAUGHS/HEAT. Actually, I’m not sure any of this works, but I’m CERTAIN the typical diva/knockout crap DOESN’T.
Look at the Ted DiBiase/Maryse alliance: Hot girl tolerates rich guy by way of living the high life. I see that every day at any variety of places. Maryse is SUPER HOT, but once you’ve seen her, you’ve seen her.
I hope Kong chains Maryse in her basement, then pounds DiBiase. The big and black attack is back!
Mark Madden hosts a radio show 3-6 p.m. weekdays on WXDX-FM, Pittsburgh. Check out the Mark Madden page at WXDX.com. Contact Mark via wzmarkmadden@hotmail.com.
