These matches didn’t quite make the final cut, but they are well worth the read…
The time has come for the grand reveal of the best new gimmick matches as submitted by the Wrestlezone readers. I have spent the past week sifting through literally hundreds of responses. I will assure you that I read each and every submission thoroughly and gave them due consideration. First off, let me say that you are a bunch of sick puppies…seriously, you guys are nuts! You SOB’s submitted ideas that ranged from vicious to lewd to demented – and I loved every second of it, haha. I have opted to reward creativity for the most part. I almost immediately discarded submissions that were just 15 other gimmick matches combined together. Personally, I don’t think a lot of thought was put into a Dog Collar Strap Table Inferno Scaffold Elimination Chamber match. Many of those ideas were overly convoluted…sometimes simpler is truly better, although a few high concept ideas certainly made the list. I wanted to have fun with this, so I’m going to include some realistic ideas, along with some funny ones. Can’t take ourselves too seriously. By the way, due to the general sickness of our wonderful readers, this article is rated R…so read at your own risk.
Before presenting the top 20 reader submitted gimmick match ideas in my next column, here are some honorable (or often dishonorable) mentions:
*Gimmicks Submitted By Readers Who Have Watched One Too Many Horror Movies (and evidently are more than okay with actual murder taking place during the match)*
*As submitted by Kevin Price*
Fire Ant Death Match – Wrestlers are sprayed with honey and covered with fireants inside a steel cage with light tubes, barbed wire, electric shock corners and the mat missing in certain places. Weapons abound!
(I’m liking the ingenuity on that one…fire ants and honey put a new spin on an old classic)
*As submitted by Scott Veal*
Acid Pit Match – In this one, they brawl and brawl and the winner is determined once they throw their opponent into a pit of ACID, in turn causing major time off.
(Um, ya think? I’m pretty sure "major time off is a bit of an understatement. How about imminent death?)
*As submitted by Darrin Clark*
Why not a water board match? One in a pit of syringes like in Saw 2? What about a match where you burn your opponent with a crack pipe?
(Note to any police officers who are reading this…you may wanna start monitoring this guy’s IP address, haha)
*As submitted by Jon Gollner*
Volcano Match – The participants fight on the rim of an active volcano. First to throw their opponent into the lava inside wins…..And if you want to make it even more gimmicky, add a stampede of buffalo constantly circling around the rim.
(Sounds pricey, but inventive. I wonder how they will explain the rules to the buffalo)
Cure on a Pole Match – The two participants are given a disease which will kill them in 30 minutes unless they inject themselves with the cure. The cure, of course, is on a pole. To win, you have to get the cure and inject yourself with it before you die.
*As very similarly submitted by Nick Steenburg*
Antidote on a Pole Match – The participants will be injected with a mystery poison. The person who pulls the antidote off the pole wins the match and is the only one who can use it. Win or die — literally.
*As submitted by ShadyFozzie*
Diving board match – In each corner there is a 20 foot high diving board (like at a pool) you can use this in whatever way you want. Imagine all the crazy moves through tables that we’d see from this!!
(This is actually a very cool idea for high flyers, if it weren’t for the fact that they’d likely break their necks after one spot)
*As submitted by Xavier from Australia*
Any number of wrestlers start off in a cage that has been electrified, barbed wired, has weapons attached to it, set on fire and underwater. Secondly, the only way to win is to (in this order) pin the opponent, make them submit, knock them out, tie them to the cage, sodomise them, make them recite the pledge of alligence, then have a well thought out and above all non-racist discussion with "Freebird" Michael Hayes.
*As submitted by Sean DiFranza*
Water Chamber Match – Wrestlers will be placed in an empty room with a matted canvas and ropes, but slowly water will be filling up the room from beneath them. There will be a door to escape, first one out wins.
*Gimmicks Submitted By Readers Who Need To Get Some Action*
*As submitted by Cody B*
"Pubes vs Pubes" Match (the long lost cousin of a Hair vs Hair match)
(I will admit, this highly disturbing concept made me laugh out loud. Yes, a real life LOL).
*As submitted by Benny Shaw*
Dildo on a Pole Match
(This isn’t even clever. For your sake Benny, I hope you are 14 years old and just learned what a dildo is)
*As submitted by Brand Ross (who asked to be anonymous, but c’mon now…you gotta take ownership of your ideas) and also by Ray Perlas*
Divas on a Pole match – The divas would be dancing on poles for the entire match as the fans would get to sit back and enjoy the view! And the best part…You don’t have to throw them any money. The winner of the match…The fans.
*As submitted by Rain Alexander*
Divas Strap On on a Pole Match
(Guys, please leave your basement computer for an hour and just go to a strip club)
*Honorable Mentions*
*As submitted by Joe Fino*
Rumble Showdown Match – A singles competition gimmick match where you must throw your opponent over the top rope a designated number of times to win.
(This could have great psychology)
MVP Basketball Challenge – It is set to a time limit (15 minutes to 30 minutes) where the competitors must play a game of basketball, HOWEVER, the rules of a wrestling match apply as well.
*As submitted by Nick Steenburg*
Reverse DQ Match – all moves must involve a weapon in some way or you will be disqualified. Best used as a multi-person elimination match. Concussions all around!
*As submitted by Adam Pembrey*
Multi-man Shark Cage Match – You remember the shark cages that managers/valets used to be put in if they interfered in matches? Well there would be 4 of them in every corner of the ringside area. There would be 5 men competing in the match and the object would be to throw the other competitors into the cage and lock it where it would then be hoisted into the air. The last man not to be caged would be declared the winner.The cages could be used as weapons, i.e by Irish Whipping your opponent into them or by leaping off them.
*As submitted by John Baker*
Gimmick Tournament – Cage, Ladder, Table, Extreme Rules, Stretcher, I Quit, Casket, Last Man Standing. Then, have eight participants willing to put life and limb on the line for the championship. They get put into brackets with each first round match competing in a different gimmick match.
(Not really a new concept for a gimmick match, but still would make for a fun card)
*As submitted by Forest Bowling*
Everest Match – There’s a big fake mountain in the ring and the winner has to take a flag and put on the top.
*As submitted by Hassaan Ahmad*
An Olympic Match – The competitors have to use the pole vault sticks used in the Olympics to jump up and grab the belt/brief case/ contract hanging above the ring.
(How about also including discusses, shot putts, and hurdles?)
*As submitted by Kevin Price*
8-Man Tag Team Demolition Derby Match – Wrestlers use random auto body parts in various ways. Car metal bends pretty good so the visuals on destruction would be great. Might be cool to do in a real used car lot.
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House of Hell Match– In a house like in Saw 2, wrestlers fight to get to the top floor of the house where a title belt would be. There would be floor traps and locked rooms along with variety of weapons in the house.
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Stay tuned for PART II….the big reveal of the 20 BEST READER SUBMITTED NEW GIMMICK MATCH IDEAS.
