I’M MAD AS HELL, AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE
Who will embody "The Network"?
Your guess is as good as TNA’s.
The original choice was Paul Heyman. Heyman might be the only guy TNA can properly book. Problem is, he won’t show up.
Then it was supposed to be Mick Foley. Turns out Foley’s not signed long-term. Oops, they did it again.
It won’t be Don Callis. That might actually work. Then again, it didn’t the first time.
So, it’s going to wind up being Dixie Carter. You watch. It’s a shame Peter Finch isn’t available.
Dixie in another major role is reminiscent of when Dusty Rhodes used to constantly book himself in the top babyface spot. Most of that was ego, but a lot of it was availability and trust. Dusty could always count on himself to show up. Lots of similarities between Dusty and Dixie. Breast size, for starters.
Compare "The Network" to the anonymous Raw general manager. Similar concept, but WWE’s execution is light years better. WWE had (and scrapped) a few plans regarding an eventual unveiling – Triple H was mooted – but never felt rushed or obligated. As it turned out, the gimmick was not only self-sufficient, it served as a major launch pad for Michael Cole’s heel character.
That laptop is more over than any heel TNA has, that’s for sure.
I love a slow burn. The Raw GM slow burn happened by accident. But it hasn’t disappointed. TNA’s embodiment of "The Network" will suck. Count on it.
START MAKING SENSE
Vince McMahon keeps trying to move wrestling toward entertainment in terms of structure and scripting. Witness his recent hiring of a soap-opera writer, as opposed to somebody steeped in rasslin’. Self-loathing at its finest.
But the one thing any wrestling promotion could use is an editor in charge of quality control. Somebody to go through each script and weed out inconsistencies, inaccuracies and plot contradictions.
He could point out what doesn’t add up: At WrestleMania, The Rock blindsided John Cena and cost him the WWE title. The next night on Raw, The Rock talked about how much he respected Cena. How could that be? If The Rock respected Cena, he wouldn’t have done what he did. It made zero sense.
He could point out character inconsistencies: Hey, wait – Goldberg’s character wouldn’t wear Goldust’s wig. Not for one second, not for any reason.
This person would NOT share in the booking. His job would start after the fact of the scriptwriting and (obviously) before show’s start. He would edit, period.
Want to move forward Hollywood-style and have a tighter show? Create that job.
MORE DDMe STORIES
Most of my e-mails want me to tell more DDMe stories. No kidding. So:
*Instead of drinking Corona with lime, DDMe used to squeeze limes into Coors Lite cans. To quote Scott Hall: “Bro…how redneck riviera is THAT?”
*Years after he engineered my firing at WCW by whining about my backstage disrespect for him – guilty as charged; NOBODY respected DDMe – his publicist called my radio show’s producer to request an interview so DDMe could plug his “Yoga for Regular Guys” DVD. This shill actually tried to work the “old buddy” angle. I had my producer tell him to f*** off.
Not long after, DDMe called Kevin Nash and said, “I can’t believe Madden wouldn’t have me on his radio show.”
Nash: “Page (long pause)…you got him FIRED.”
DDMe (incredulously): “You think he’s still mad about THAT?”
*Page won Battle Bowl at Slamboree ’96. He wore the ring EVERYWHERE. Mark.
Mark Madden hosts a radio show 3-6 p.m. weekdays on WXDX-FM, Pittsburgh, PA (105.9). Check out his web page at WXDX.com. Contact Mark by emailing WZMarkMadden@hotmail.com.
